Greetings everyone! As you may have aleady guessed, I have many elements of terror at my disposal. Along with my thousands upon thousands of Zombies, Vampires, ducks, hampsters, and spectres; there are some very important beings in my chain of command. Below is a list of the more superior creatures in my army. ENJOY!
THE GATER-
ME! it's my job to watch over everyone; distribute crack to the weary; plan the demise of those who I hate, and
recruit new members of my demonic mob.
MOUSE-
Head of the mortal rodent infantry and second in command. Also quite handy with a rifle. A very common manner
of demise, but he's good at it all the same
GORILLICUS THE DUCK
Everyone needs a duck. 'Nuff said.
BUTTERFLY, PANDORA, LESLEY, KORNGIRL, JULIA, LINDSAY, TRACEY-
My elite vampiresses. Seductive & powerful, these mistresses of the night are an important asset to my dominion.
NAZAR-
Ahh, the communist spy. Sneaky & able to speak Russian and cause confusion.
HEATHER, TIFFANY & ANGIE-
The courtesans. Masters of seduction & control of the opposite sex. Very usefull.
LYN-
Wizard of Maple Walnuts. She's the only one who really knows what that means.
WOLFJAWS-
Special Ops. you should see what this guy can do with a minigun. (7.62mm w/electric chain rotor)
Lord Crabo-
Trainer and master of the Zombie Hampsters, one of my more powerful divisions.
BLARGGS-
My lone Kamikaze troop, 'Cept this guy is so strong he's invincible.
MOJO-
Butterfly's bird. Likes to bite peoples lips.
ASHLEY & NATHANIEL-
Cannon Fodder
GREG-
Usually works with Nazar on missions that require a great deal of sneaking.
ANDREA-
PHSYCOBABBLE-
CAPTAIN SHINER
TOXIC ALIEN
JENNN FLETCHER
SAMUEL THE JELL-O MONKEY
CHIC MAGNET
HADES
ANDREW NOBLE
The one who comes up with unneccessarily strange ways of torture. Also master of the scratch 'n sniff shirt.
Maker of chemical weapons, such as sex-change gas.
Captain Shiner'll kick your head in.
Toxic Alien will do something Evil to your corpse
Jennn F the self-proclaimed sex goddess. We're both not really sure what her duties are....but they probably have something to do with sex.
Blinding Speed; superior reasoning ability, and a taste that can't be beat! The only problem is that this Lime flavoured
primate can't fight AT ALL. All you gotta do is slap him and he'll jiggle helplessly.
The master of leeches. He's gotten so good he can throw one 100 yards away and get it right on your jugular. He also likes to
sneak into people houses and cover them with the bloodsuckers while they sleep.
Overloard of Barbecue basted shaven monkeys and naked old men with shower caps. The monkeys aren't the brightest things on four legs and a tail, but they can spread Ebola with almost
no effort. How do the naked men with shower caps come into play you ask? They run around rubbing the monkeys on people.
Emporer of ressurected zombie serial killers and their victims. There's only one problem with this. The Zombie serial killers just attack their past zombie victems, so it's
really not a very efficient process.
LUCKY SHARD
Emporer of Lesbian Lepricauhn Vampires. You gotta see this division in action, its a piss!
GROM HELLSCREAM
The only being in my army that has mastered the art of Uggthumpin. Mild-mannered to the untrained eye, just don't be near him when he's "SO FUCKIIN' HAPPY!"
COLUMBIA-
Mistress of Cardigans. Well, she was, and will be again, but is currently in search of the elusive brown cardigan. And she better find it or I'm gonn have Gromm UggThump her to no end.
LUNATIC
Crazy Ice Woman. She's always cold; possibly because she has no soul is anybody's guess.
COLIN
He'll ask to borrow your shirt, but the catch is: HE'LL NEVER GIVE IT BACK. You'll be standing half-naked in the cold, cold night.
FUNNY CORK BOY
He has corks in his ears, and uses his really big, stretched earlobes to hit people with. You'd think that it wouldn't be too affective, but if you see him in action you will be surprised.
RABBIT-ROCK
A devious being with many tricks up his sleeve. He's a rock, but he looks like a rabbit so when you stoop down to pet him, he springs up and cracks you one in the skull. And since he's a rock, you get count on a fracture or at least a concussion. Also makes a fairly good projectile.
LEE-LOO
Beautiful, Seductive, Powerful. Able to captivate you with her beautiful green eyes. She can render you helplessly in love with her long blond hair
and miscievious smile.
Words of wisdom to all who listen, but beware...she might suck you into her world of magic. Of which there is no escape...
BROKKOLI-
GEEBLE-
The Evil Little Troll. Exept she's the single troll I know that's not ugly, (far from it!)
One of the kinkiest creatures I know, AND I LOVE IT!!!!
BURNSY
One big mass of drunken Irish rage. God help you if you get in the way of his sheleiliegh, 'cause once you're down,
he'll hang you with your own intestines.
